What do we believe?

How do we "figure out" what we believe on a given topic?

Some people have strong and immediate opinions on everything; they know instinctively what they like, don't like, believe in, or disagree with (even with new topics). Other people we know may be the opposite - they have very few strong opinions, rarely state their position, or waffle back and forth. Both can be equally frustrating, depending on the circumstance.

Most of us are somewhere in between - we have strong opinions when it comes to areas of expertise, hobbies/passions, values, etc., but may not have set beliefs in other areas.

What contributes to not having an opinion on a matter?

• Lack of personal experience or historical knowledge in that area - e.g. certain sports, especially for some women
• It's outside the scope of our current lives (we've never had to think about it) - e.g. parenting for bachelors, software programming languages for english majors
• We deem it uninteresting or unworthy of our mindspace - e.g. pop culture, botany (depends on your interests)
• The issues are incredibly complex and we don't want to base our opinion on an emotional response - e.g. certain political issues, economic theory, foreign policy

So, what if someone asks us our opinion in one of the above categories? How do we "figure out" what we believe, especially if we have no working knowledge on the subject?

When we were young, everything was foreign to us; we didn't know anything about cars, science, ethics, history, politics, religion, nutrition, computers, restaurants, etc. Our early beliefs were infused with (indoctrinated?) perspectives and patterns from various "nurture" aspects of our upbringing: societal norms, friends, parental tendencies (often times unknowingly), role models (which were often famous people), or whatever experiences imprinted themselves on our young psyche. As we got older, however, we became more analytical and selective in how we formulated our opinions.

Nowadays, to "figure out" our perspective, we know we should do our own research to find what resonates best. However, when we don't have time for rigorous investigation, we end up asking our friends, peers, family, etc. for their perspective (because they often share our world view and can offer a synopsis and a way to think about the issue).

Another shortcut is to base our opinion on the "stance" of a group we self-identify with (could be Catholic, Liberal, Conservative, Athlete, Vegetarian, Gay, etc.) because it would most likely would match our response if we were to do all the research. The obvious danger is blindly accepting these perspectives (or those of our friends and family) as the only "truth."

Research, discussion, and experience are still the best ways to formulate new opinions, and are also important in questioning our currently-held beliefs (many of which are based on our upbringing).

We all have a tendency of staying within our own thought circles - reading articles that reinforce our opinions, hanging out with people who share our perspectives, continuing the same old patterns. We need to actively challenge our thinking, have new experiences, and seek out someone who believes the opposite and listen to (not debate) their perspective.

At the end of the day, we might not change our perspective but at least we're able to see the other side and appreciate the differences.

Should You Disclose Your Beliefs?

Today I wrote down my beliefs so I could better communicate who I am to my current and future clients. It was a great exercise that really made me think about what I personally believe, and also what was important to tell others as part of a professional working relationship.

Coaches, managers, teachers, parents, counselors, leaders, older siblings, etc. all play a role in someone else's life. One would hope that the individuals in those critical roles are the types of people who nurture and empower others. But for better or for worse, and whether they know it or not, these mentors are presenting elements of themselves that will impact how others grow and develop. For that reason, I think it's important for them to be up front with what they believe, especially to the people they might influence.

Some managers, coaches, teachers, leaders, etc. may have never officially disclosed their philosophies, but have developed a lore over time about who they are and what they believe in - Teacher X is a really hard grader, Coach Y insists on being on time, Manager Z demands high-quality work, and Mom is a stickler for a clean room and chores. But, wouldn't it be nice to know what these people are all about, up-front?

• Do you think coaches, managers, teachers, leaders, parents, etc. should outline their beliefs and communicate them to the people they interact with?