Deciding NOW for the Future?

Overachievers prefer knowing what the future will be like. In many cases, we have to make decisions today that will affect us down the road, without complete information. But something that I've always wondered is how can you make a decision now, based on your limited knowledge or experience, on something that may profoundly change your life? For example,

• How do you know what you'll feel like in 5 years about your current significant other?
• How do you know if you'll want kids 3, 5, or 10 years from now?
• How do you know if you really want to be a doctor, lawyer, business owner, etc. ?
• How do I know what it'll be like living in NYC, Silicon Valley, or the burbs of Chicago?

I had a bout with indecision a year and a half ago and it almost got the best of me. What career would be most fulfilling when I looked back on my life? Would the current relationship make me happy 10 years from now? How would moving to the suburbs of DC affect my life and would I be happy there?

Eventually, I figured that I had to make some decisions or I'd just end up going nowhere. For some of you dealing with similar decisions, here are my suggestions from having gone through it:

1. Do some research online first (no more than 1 hr per week)
   
2. Ask people who've experienced it first hand (ask people similar to you)
3. Kick it around in your head for a bit (but not too long). Do some pros and cons, figure out the best and worst case scenarios, devise a plan B, and figure out what you'd be giving up by not doing X.
4. Talk to friends and family about it. A personal coach would be great because they don't have a vested interest and can be more objective.
   
5. Take some personal time to reflect - go for a hike alone, do a solo road trip, meditate/pray, etc. and go in with the intention of coming up with your next step.
6. If you're still not sure, decide on a day to make a decision (whether it's "right" or "wrong").
   

With these types of future-thinking decisions, you'll never have complete knowledge; you can't expect to know the "right" answer ahead of time (as if there even is a "right" answer). Some people would say "let your heart decide", but I couldn't find myself in that camp. Like you, I'd prefer the crystal ball or at least a lot of rational thinking about my options.

The worst situation is being in limbo, endlessly treading water and never making a decision. That means that not only are you still undecided, but you're also frustrated with the fact that you can't seem to figure it out (which makes you even more anxious).

The good news is that, in most cases, another decision can always be made later if you find you're not happy (caution: this approach doesn't work for the question about having kids). If you make a decision now, you can always make another decision in a few weeks, months, or years.

Making a decision for the future is never easy, especially for those of us who like having everything in its place. It requires courage (which I used to think was only reserved for Odysseus and Beowulf) and a certain degree of faith that things will work out well. Check out my earlier post "Paralysis by Over-Analysis" about how too much analysis can undermine decision-making.

• What are the decisions you're kicking around now that are tough to forecast in the future? Please comment and share what you're facing at the moment...

If you find you're spending too much time thinking about an issue and want to bounce it off a 3rd person or get an outsider's perspective, check out my coaching services at www.overachievercoach.com or send me an email at leeknight@overachievercoach.com.

Paralysis by Over-Analysis

A few days ago, I got an exciting email from someone who attended the Nov 26th workshop.

"The thanksgiving session was awesome, and thanks so much for it and for everything you said. I really am going to throw my life in a backpack and go to New Zealand--I told my family about it and everything--probably right after next Christmas. A good friend might actually come too! So thanks for getting me to stop thinking about it and actually do something. I feel like that might be a common overachiever problem, overanalyzing to the point where you are paralyzed by the options..."

As a fellow overachiever, I completely agree. Even the best of us occasionally get stymied by our own "Paralysis by Over-Analysis." We find ourselves trapped in our own decision-making process... mulling over the pro's and con's, carefully deliberating on the best options, and trying to be sure make the "right" decision.

Most of us suffer from "Paralysis by Over-Analysis" at some point in our lives - Do I need a new job? Should I go back to school? Or maybe work a few year to save up money? Would I like to move to a new city? Do I want to stay in this relationship? Is it ok to spend this much money on this?

Since none of these have a "right" or "wrong" answer, we can waste a lot of time trying to optimize our decision. We don't have perfect information so we have to go with what we've got. But as overachievers, we always want to do (or have) the best, so when we're not sure of what that is, paralysis sets in.

Frozen in this state, we've temporarily lost our ability to make choices. We end up just "doing what we've been doing" as a default and become even more frustrated with ourselves and unhappy with our situation. And that's the last thing we want!

Since life is about being happy and creating the life you want, here are a few decision-making philosophies that I've come across that might help you in your next "Paralysis by Over-Analysis" moment:

• Make a decision, and then make it the right one. (Wisdom from a former boss...whatever you decide, go with it entirely. Don't look back or second-guess yourself.)

• If you make a decision to do something now, you can always make another decision later to change something if it's not working. (This way you're making a decision now, with the option of making another decision later... 2 decisions vs. indecision!)

• Right or wrong, do it at 100%. (Wisdom from a former rugby coach...Even if you screw up, do it at 100%. People will see your courage and respect you for trying.)

• Go easy on yourself if you do make a mistake. The world goes on and hopefully you've learned something from it. (According to Jack Welsh, it's how you recover from the mistake that's important!)
  

It's my firm belief that a few bad decisions are part of learning, and any decision is better than no decision. What do you think? Please comment...

• Have you ever found yourself in a state of "Paralysis by Over-Analysis"?
• What have you learned about decision-making that you could share?

Sometimes it's nice to have someone to gently nudge you out of the analysis phase. If you need a nudge, email me at leeknight@overachievercoach.com and we'll have you making decisions in no time!